Creative Blend by Kalyani

Valentine’s Day Around the World

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The world we live in is a big place with many countries, their cultures and their people. ‘The day of love and lovers’, or our Loved Valentine’s day as we call it is celebrated differently and weirdly (sometimes) across the world. These are some of the traditions that I found interesting.

Denmark– here, men give women a funny poem written on a beautifully cut paper and if the woman can guess who the message is from, they get an Easter egg later.

South Korea– When it comes to gift-giving and heteronormative gender roles in United States where men are the gift-givers, we see it flipped in South Korea. It’s up to women to gift flowers and chocolates to their men and one month later, on 14^th March, men make their move to gift their loved ones back. Also, one month later on 14^th of April there’s a Black day for single people where they go out with their friends and eat black bean paste noodles.

Philippines– Valentine’s day here is not just about love, but it is also about the ‘Wedding’. Yes! In Philippines, 14^th February is the most popular day to get married to the person you love.

South Africa– have you ever heard of a classic idiom, ‘wearing your heart on the sleeve’? But, in South Africa it isn’t just an idiom but a tradition. Women wear their hearts on their sleeves. What I mean is that they wear the name of a person they love written on a heart shape and pin it on their sleeve. Sometimes, even if that person doesn’t know about it yet.

Germany– while the world is busy gifting the red cards and flowers to their loved ones, here’s a twist for you. In Germany, the pig is a symbol of Valentine’s day and many lovers gift each other a chocolate pig or pigs holding flowers/ four-leaf clovers because pig is a symbol for good luck and lust.

Japan– Japanese Valentine’s day is similar to that of South Korea, but although love is a theme in gift-giving, the females also gift chocolates to their acquaintances. Men can return the favor by gifting women on 14^th march which is also called as a White Day. The main aim of this White Day is to increase the marshmallow sale (White Day because Marshmallows are white).

Italy– In Italy, its about Hazelnut chocolates, wrapped with romantic quote. Chocolate is one of the biggest things associated with Valentine’s day the reason behind is that many doctors thought, the chocolate wasn’t just tasty but it was also a medicine. Eating chocolate would help you get over the loss of a loved one and heal the broken heart. There’s no base to this story, but chocolate definitely makes you feel good (wink). Also, Valentine’s week is the third biggest season for chocolate-candy industry following Easter and Christmas.

England– the historical English tradition was when women used to test their psychic abilities. There was a legend that while sleeping if they place bay leaves on their pillow, they’d dream of their future husband.

France– in France, there was a ‘lottery of love’. Unmarried men and women would shout at each other and then pair off but the men decided and they could break that match at any time. The rejected women would gather around a bonfire, curse and burnt the photographs of men who rejected them. This tradition was banned by French Government.

Taiwan– In Taiwan, what matters is the number of roses. For example, one red rose is a symbol for ‘My Only Love’, 11 red roses for ‘you’re my favorite’, 108 red roses means ‘marry me’.

India– Valentine’s Day in India became popular due to Western influences and there have been a lot of protests against the celebrations.

Let’s think about all of this the other way. Love is about the spending patterns and men tend to spend more during the Valentine’s week which helps in increasing the sales. Also, it is the second day (Christmas being the first) which dominates the Card market.

So, what are the weird traditions that you know? Let me know in the comments section and hope you all had a great valentine’s day with your someone special! ❤

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I Read, I re-read

I Write, I read.
This is all I know.

I read books,
mostly fiction, and
it helps me understand people more.

Books and characters
take me on a journey.
Without moving a foot
or stepping out,
to Shire, New York,
the urban and the country.

Characters love me
and I love them back,
more than friends
’cause they don’t stab me in my back.

The motifs, the symbols,
the imagery, the themes…
These dimensions are fun
and make worth every read.

This journey of reading goes on and on
’cause I re-read and my thoughts move on and on

-Kalyani L.

What does Independence mean to me?

It was August 15th and we celebrated the Independence Day. One of my friends asked me “what does Independence (Aazadi or Swatantrya as we call it in Hindi or Marathi) mean to you?” and this made me think. This is what I am going to try to answer in today’s post.
We need aazadi, especially for Indian women from many notions in our “society”.

There are many people who support us in various ways. But in this post I intend to highlight the problems. And I really appreciate people who support us. So, do not get offended.

Independence from “Tujhe nahi lagta tu thodi moti ho gayi hai?”
I am a girl who is a little chubby and not skinny. But sometimes, even I get to hear all this. All the aunties in the society are always ready to give the advice on various diets, forwarding diet plans on my whatsapp number, suggesting various workouts, and the list is huge…
Let me tell you. Every type of body is beautiful. Fat, thin, medium or whatever. So, let’s stop idealizing the body shapes and sizes and women making feel miserable. That’s, Aazadi from having that “perfect body”.

Aazadi from “Log Kya Kahenge!” (What would people say?)
“Don’t sit spreading your legs.” “Learn to cook or what would your in-laws say?” “Don’t look straight into the eyes of men.” “Don’t have male friends.” Like really? We ladies need independence from “LOG KYA KAHENGE!” we want to live the way we want. We are human beings and not the remote-controlled objects to control the way society wants. We are not going to live fearing about what would people say or think if we do certain things.

“Beta multani mitti aur make up laga lo safed rang nikhar ke aayega” (put on some make-up or face packs to look fair)

Fair skin is something which is very much desirable in our society and sometimes a symbol of belonging to a wealthy family. This reminds me of an incident. I was hanging out with my friend and a woman with brown skin passed by and he looked at her as if she was from another planet. Seriously? I still don’t feel like talking to him. This is the reason, women sometimes lose their confidence. And make-up is not to make you look fair or hide blemishes. It is to highlight your features. It is a choice to wear make-up. It makes some of us feel confident and bold.

“25 ki ho gayi hai, shaadi kab kar rahi hai” (you are 25 now, when are you getting married?)

This is the “log kya kahenge part 2”(what would people say? Part 2). Sometimes, parents want us to get married because we are crossing 25 and an unmarried woman who crosses 25 is considered as characterless. They don’t think that if she wants to pursue her carrier. And having a male friend who drops a woman home from work late night is a crime! Because they might think of this as an affair. Please understand that we want to be independent.

“Shaadi toh ho gayi! Good news kab de rahe ho” (you are married now, when are you planning to have a baby?)

Even if you get married, they won’t keep quiet unless they see the face of a child. It becomes very difficult for a woman to work after getting married. So, we want the independence to pursue our careers and have a child whenever we want.

This is what I think. Let me know what Independence means to you in the comment section. This independence day let’s give some Aazadi to women to have their own choices, opinions and make this world a better place for them.

बारिश

आज तक बारिश को गिरते हुए क़यी बार देखा था ।
पर आज पहली बार हर एक बूँद की आवाज़ सुनने का मौक़ा मिला ।

बंद खिड़की देख कर आज मुझे अफ़सोस हुआ
क्यू हमने इतने अहम पलों को खो दिया?

वो पेड़ के हरे पत्ते देख आज मुझे ख़ुशी का मतलब पता चला
क्योंकि, बारिश की बूँद और एक पत्ते का रिश्ता बनते मैने आज देखा।

वह लहराती हुई हवा जैसे उन पत्तों से बात कर रही थी
और वह बारिश की बूँदे पत्तों का साथ दे रही थी ।

आज तक बारिश को गिरते हुए क़यी बार देखा था ।
पर आज घरके अंदर होते हुए भी उसे महसूस करने का मौक़ा मिला।

उस बारिश में मुझे भीगना था, घर के बाहर निकलना था।
और एक छाता लिए पैदल अँजान रास्ते पर से गुजरना था।

कुछ ख़ास ढूँढना नहीं था, किसीसे मिलना नहीं था, या कुछ ख़रीदनानहीं था
पर इस lockdown वाली ज़िन्दगी से कुछ पल चुराकर बस बारिश में जी भर के भीगना था।

पर आज हम फँस गए हैं इन चार दीवारों के बीच,
जैसे कुछ महीनो पहले हमने उस उड़ते हुए पंछी को बंद कर रखा था।

पर क्या करें? ये सब काम हमहीने तो किए है।
पर मैं अभी भी सोचती हूँ क्या इंसानियत नाम का कोई खेल था?

आज तक बारिश को गिरते हुए क़यी बार देखा था ।
पर आज बारिश ने बोहत सोचने पर मजबूर कर दिया।

-Kalyani l.

INHUMANITY AND SHOWCASING HUMANITY

Before I start, I would like to make it clear that I don’t intend to offend anybody through this post.

Let’s start with sequence of basic question. Firstly, what is Humanity? The answer is simple. Humanity is a quality of being humane, being benevolent, being kind-hearted. Humans are capable of showing these qualities. Rather, it is something that has to come from humans.

My next question is what is Inhumanity? Obviously, it is something which has nothing to do with humanity. It is cruelty and brutality.

Now the last question, are the humans preserving humanity? Answering this seems difficult to me. We have seen many incidents during these days of lockdown which were inhumane. They were cruel. I’ll give a short summary of some incidents.

A pregnant elephant, in search of food in a village was fed a pineapple with infused crackers which caused the death of the mama elephant as well as the baby elephant.
Another incident, a street dog was tied to a bike with a rope and was dragged by two men for around 1 km resulting in a cruel death.
A similar incident was witnessed where a dog was beaten to death by a group of people and this video went viral.

These incidents are disturbing.

Honestly, I feel sad. The videos went viral. Everyone posted on social media how they felt about all of this. All of us were busy posting the sad images of dead dogs and elephants with quotes and creative representations. Is this what we are supposed to do? Obviously, the social media is a great platform to speak out. Even I am doing the same but my concern is, what can we do to stop all these incidents?

There are also many people creating images and forwarding them to showcase humanity and using it as a tool of positive publicity. This positive publicity helps them to showcase “how good these people are?” and it manipulates people unconsciously to believe in them when they actually don’t mean it, without knowing the facts. This positive publicity also helps them to increase their fan base which automatically helps them to earn profits in their fields. And we all are obsessed when it comes to our favorite actors and actresses. This becomes a kind of cycle. I am not trying to point anybody and I also agree to the fact that there are some good people out there who are genuinely humane.

But no one is really concerned about the actions that we must take. All I believe is we are kids of Mother Nature. We all belong at one place. We all have the equal right to live. Everything matters. All the lives on Earth matter. You matter.

-Kalyani l.

50 Days of summer

Lock down, isolation, Covid-19, Doctors, Hospitals, Beds, Quarantine, Deaths, etc. are the only words we get to hear these days. I see every second article starting with the phrase ‘in these difficult times…’. All of us are falling apart, deaths of several is a daily news headline. Where are we heading? We often try to even out our natural imbalances through the virtual world. We find it easier to text rather than talking now and this is a sign that we have become the social media addicts. This time we spend in Solitude can be savored. I think that Solitude is taking some time to disconnect from the external world to reconnect with your inner self. Remember, your inner self is eternal. It is going to be with you no matter what, no matter how the world revolves. While we stay inside, these days can be positive too. All of us can take a break, longer than we have ever had. Has anyone of us thought that we would get this long span of time to become stronger?

This time has offered me my own space to think what I should do further. These days have taught me to observe. I have never heard the chirping of birds so loudly and clearly. The tenderness this time has brought is precious. Catching up with some good books is really going to help to spend the time positively. Reading is kind of a meditation for me.

I have been using this time to think and finding the ways to clear the objective difficulties which I might come across in my future. And surprisingly, all of this can be done by just sitting at home and right now, staying in is our national duty as the common citizens. Many of our loved ones are away from us but just telling them that you love them and you are eagerly waiting to meet them. This is going to comfort them just like a hot bowl of soup in winter for them.

It’s been more that 50 days we have been staying inside. This summer has been the strangest season of our lives. Today, it rained after the heat had reached its limits. In the same way, the hottest summers are going to pass and take away the dried leaves. The beautiful raindrops are soon going to cover these skeletons of trees with beautiful green leaves and spread happiness.

But we need to make changes in our lives too. After all of this is over, we should not take anything for granted. The alluring nature, the beautiful Earth, the gift of life and the people around me. Let us learn to appreciate every morning like a gift including the sunrise, sunset, cloudy and the starry skies, the wind, the sound of the falling of leaves…

-Kalyani L.

Why ‘Hamlet’ is relevant?

‘Hamlet: The Prince of Denmark’, the longest play by the Bard of Avon (William Shakespeare) was written during 1599-1601 is so good that readers and audiences still connect with it.

Firstly, I would like to summarize the play (spoilers alert!). The play is about Hamlet, the Denmark prince who comes across a ghost of his father- the king of Denmark and tells Hamlet about his murder and the murderer. Hamlet’s Uncle Claudius has murdered the king, married the queen Gertrude who is also Hamlet’s mother and has claimed the throne. As Hamlet has been told to take the revenge of his father’s death, he pretends to be feeble-minded to throw his uncle Claudius, Gertrude, Polonius (Ophelia’s dad), Rosencrantz and Guildenstern (Hamlet’s childhood pals called by the king to keep watch on him) off guard. Hamlet’s love interest Ophelia also claims Hamlet being crazy. Some actors (players) come and Hamlet decides to perform the murder scene of the deceased king to reveal the truth and watch Claudius’s reaction and check if the ghost is telling the truth. Hamlet also thinks about committing a suicide (here he make the famous speech “to be or not to be, that is the question”). Claudius confesses he’s guilty and Hamlet accidentally ends up killing Polonius (Ophelia’s dad). Claudius sends Hamlet to England, on the way Hamlet comes across Prince Fortinbras of Norway who is trying to regain the territories, lost by his father. At the castle, Ophelia goes mad, Laertes (Polonius’s son and Ophelia’s brother) is mad at Hamlet. Claudius suggests Laertes to fight a friendly ‘duel’ with Hamlet and keep poison as a backup on the tip of the sword. Ophelia dies. Hamlet randomly stumbles upon her funeral and creates a scene is with Laertes. Hamlet tells Horatio (Hamlet’s trusted friend) on the way to England, he found a letter ordering Hamlet’s death but instead he changed his name to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and he returns on a pirate ship. During the friendly duel, everything goes according to Claudius’s plan; Gertrude drinks poisoned wine and dies. Laertes cuts Hamlet with poisoned sword, Laertes is wounded by the same sword. Hamlet ends up killing Claudius with the sword and also makes him drink the poisoned wine. Horatio wants to kill himself but Hamlet tells him to live and tell his story. Fortinbras of Norway enters and takes over the Danish throne.

Hamlet is all about murder, suicide, madness, uncertainty, crime and betrayal. Every character behaves in his or her way, their good and their evil. They all have their own identities. Hamlet delays all his decisions because he is not certain about the truth. He also suffers from procrastination and we must agree that this is something all of us face in our life. Ophelia also represents the secondary position of women in the society. She has no control over her relationships, her body or her choices. Gertrude is an example of adultery which we can see every time in most of the relationships. In the end, we don’t even know whether justice has been achieved. Reading this play again has made me realize that this play has a lot in it for us to learn. Hamlet is not just about the famous soliloquy “To be, or not to be that is the question…”. It is much more than that. Many more pieces of wisdom by Shakespeare come to us via his characters in this play. Here are some quotes I am listing that made me think.

Ophelia-

We know what we are, but not what we may be.
Could beauty, my lord, have better commerce than with honesty?
Rich gifts was poor when givers prove unkind.

King Claudius-

Offender’s scourge is weighed, but never the offence.
My words fly up, my thoughts go below:

Words without thoughts to heaven go.

Queen Gertrude-

All that lives must die, passing through the nature to eternity.

Hamlet-

Hamlet to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern- Denmark’s a prison
Rosencrantz- Then is the world.
There are more things in Earth, Horatio, than are dreamy of in your philosophy.
The cat will mew and dog will have his day.

Our world is of appearances and Hamlet is a play about the difficulty of living in the world.

-Kalyani L.

Love Marriages- Caste or Mindset?

People living rural life as well as urban life; usually like to stay with people who are similar to them. Here, the similarity is very subjective. Similarity can be based on class, economic status, standard of living or something like Caste, which has been practiced since years and has been passed on to generations. People staying in the same caste expect their children to do the same and also want their children to marry within the caste.

Most of the marriages are arranged and when it comes to love marriages, the couples have to go through overflowing resistance by the society and even by their parents. The more gaps between the castes, the more resistance has to be faced.

But do these caste systems really matter when it comes to ‘love’? People are judged on the basis of their prosperity in the class system rather than their capability.

We have been used to new cultures and technologies very easily. We may consider the ‘Selfie culture’ or as simple as something like ‘a touch screen mobile phone’. But can’t we just understand the need of the society which is to treat everyone equally? Can’t we really take a stand against the teachings of these old generations trying to exaggerate inequality?

We are born as humans for the sake of humanity to share the bonds and not as castes to follow any kind of hierarchy. Elder people should not force to follow the same norms to the new young minds because ‘love’, which is supposed to be an angelic feeling, is suffering.

Parents have the moral right to restrict their children for their better future but they should look into the matter of love. But maybe, the problem is not just about the inequality in ‘castes’ or ‘communities’ or ‘religions’. Earlier generations oppose love marriages because they think that ‘how can our children choose a life partner by themselves without taking the needs of family into consideration?’ and here, the ‘caste’ has been kept in front of us as a reason, which is conditioning human minds to follow and pass on the caste structure. Now it’s time for all of us to think that, is this a problem of the caste or the mindset?

If to the heaven we all are equal, 
then why do we humans divide?

…to be continued

-Kalyani L.

Let’s Walk

It's the night my love,
let's walk. 
No more motifs to talk,
Let's go for a walk.

A long, long walk
and a hand in hand.
With the beautiful left marks
on the sand.

Let's walk my love!
Not thinking of being life long.
But, just to live this moment
and write another love song.

Not just a day,
nor a single night.
Just a moment,
for the life's sight.

-Kalyani L.